how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
