You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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