That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
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I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
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Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize