Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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