capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
