is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
