You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
