The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize