Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
