i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
