I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
