this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
