3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
