Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
