I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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