I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
