Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
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