So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
