how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
