I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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