We won't sleep together?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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