I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize