My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
