i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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