yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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