mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
