he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
