very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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