I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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