Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
