Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
