Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
