roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize