Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I would fuck him just for his dog
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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