hotel room ftw
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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