you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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