Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
