Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I think my vagina is haunted
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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