i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize