I can tuck mytits in my pants
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
