there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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