Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
