I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can't put those talents on a resume
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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