good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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