my soul wont recognize me after tonight
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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