I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
