How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You smell like stripper and shame
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
