I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
