her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
