I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
