My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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