I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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