so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
