me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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