do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
