She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
