Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
